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Post by colonelbuckrobely on Jun 11, 2009 7:06:28 GMT -6
The Postal Service created a stamp of President Obama. The stamp was not sticking to envelopes.
This enraged the President who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings: the stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. People are simply spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.
I found this at Bitter Politicz this morning.
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hasset
Master Member
Posts: 633
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Post by hasset on Jun 11, 2009 9:35:33 GMT -6
$50 For the Homeless (sort of a joke but then, not really, too truthful, from the Patriot post)
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be president some day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were president what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."
Her parents beamed.
"Wow... what a worthy goal." I told her, "But you don't have to wait until you're president to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where homeless guys hang out, and you can give them the $50, you earned, to use toward food and a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"
I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
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Post by dtothelux on Jun 11, 2009 11:51:43 GMT -6
These are really good. Thanks.
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hasset
Master Member
Posts: 633
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Post by hasset on Jul 16, 2009 21:23:48 GMT -6
The author of this is unknown but I think we all may have met someone just like him. There are lots of morons around and this one speaks for them all.
WHY I VOTED DEMOCRAT, by unknown moron.
I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.
I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.
I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.
I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up I disagree that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
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